The importance of failure

This morning I woke up after half a nights sleep - woozy, hungover, disoriented yet happy. I'm in a strange country with no idea how the next week or the remainder of my life is going to shape up. Walking out into the blistering cold, a thought struck me like a bolt of lightening - I'm setting myself up to fail, and that's a good thing.

Growing up in India I have lived the life of two people - the juvenile delinquent and the man with a late start. The former was a stress free life. I lived for the day and loved for the moment. There was no worry about the future and there was no care about the past. Life was easy, priorities were clear and responsibility was an alien notion. As I failed at all that mattered, failure became who I was. My successes were so severely misguided that they were in effect more painful that failure. In all this behavior, the one thing that I exuded unknowingly was selfishness. People around me, my parents, were pouring in effort, time, resources and most importantly hope into me and all I did was waste. My false bravado and shallow machismo mixed lethally with immaturity so as to blind me and leave me in a state of limbo where eventually the biggest loser would be me, as a result of self destruction.

Everyone has a turning point in their life. Every boy turns into a man indeed overnight, as does every girl into a woman. The average Joe that is yours truly was no different. Unfortunately this was rather late in the day. By then the big pieces of life had already fallen and made a foundation that would determine the future, the cards were half dealt. From there on it has been a constant uphill battle, laden with fun and failure.

So why is it so important to fail? To understand that we must think of what motivates us. For some failure is an escape, for others a challenge. For the escapists failure is the perfect alibi. For the fighter, it's motivation.

In the jungle of life, resilience is such a rare bird that I always stop to take notice of it. Rolling with the punches, navigating through life, at the end of the day the man who shoots above his weight; the man who bites the bullet; who takes the difficult way out; who stands when he knows he will fall again is the man who eventually wins - if nowhere else, but in his own heart.

So I urge you, fine ladies and gentlemen of the world, to fail. For having not failed is having not tried hard enough, and that in itself is the biggest failure of all.

Certainly Uncertain

Whistling a rhythm and strumming a guitar he says it all – All we need is just a little patience. Axl Rose, ladies and gentlemen was a poet if there ever was one. It’s strange how a random line like this sticks with you but only make sense when circumstance demands it to.  

The world is in imbalance. The West can’t figure out what to do with debt while the East can’t handle growth without compromising price increases.

Bombs go off, kids win golf tournaments, phones are hacked , debt hits the roof (literally) and yet life carries on. It is in times like these that Axl’s words hold true – all we really need is a little patience. I have none and I’m the first to admit it.

I want something and I want it yesterday but the year in China has taught me a lot. Getting from point A to B is not a straight line (oh no, you must visit C,D,X,Y,Q,P and then perhaps hit B if you’re lucky).  In China, the proverbial "breaking of ice" is more like "melting the god D@#$ Glacier".

The hippie in me embraces this uncertainty as “Nature’s way” while the analyst in me says “Vat the hell” (yes with the Indian 7-11 accent).  Why is it that we cannot forecast our lives? It’s not rocket science, we have the resources. There should be a 5, 10, 15, 20, 25 year plan for each community. Just as I tell that to myself, the hippie breaks into laughter and it dawns onto the analyst – there are no guarantees, ever.

Catering for contingencies is one thing, predicting them is quite the other.  Coming from a guy who had the next 15 yrs planned out, this may seem ridiculous but it’s quite true. The best plans are those that unfold themselves.


Control is an illusion that drives mankind to do strange things. We run and leap like there is no tomorrow and rarely stop to "smell the roses".

The best plans are the ones that change, evolve and adapt to the forces of nature, man and the almighty.

Good night and God Bless. 

Tick Tock

The train clocks 300 kms/ hr and the attendant looks like she's an aspiring flight stewardess. I'm breezing past villages and towns in Zhejiang en route to the ever important financial metropolis of Shanghai. The ride's great, but it's still missing the tea stalls and the samosa valas at the stations. Hell, I can't even read the signs I pass. But oh well, comes with the deal. The weekends whizzes past and I'm back in my room, looking at the river and sipping on jasmine tea. My head spins with the tsunami of thoughts as I can see traces of light snowfall. Six months - the first six months in China. Many say that if you pass this hurdle, the rest is easy - I guess time will tell. To me, it feels like yesterday and far too long ago at the same time when I came here, lured by the company of choice and smell of opportunity.

It was a big decision, to take the decision in the first place and then to decide on what to do when this job came along. It did rustle a lot of feathers in my life. Insecurity and anxiety plagued me as I got off the plane and cleared customs at Ningbo Lishe Airport. What have I done? Is this the right place? Is it worth all that it has caused? I get into the car - there's a clear effort to make me feel comfortable; the Cadillac is sparkling, the water is cool and the towels scented. The driver however, looks at me as though I'm from Mars when I ask him how far the hotel is. To say that the initial months had their share of hiccups would be a gross understatement - more like epileptic fits if you ask me. It's important to find good friends and I did, mostly from Sweden, Tennessee, Scotland and sometimes Russia.  Good fellows, very calming and very demanding as well.

Looking forward, I habitually start to plan. 2 yrs --> A. 2 more yrs --> B. 3 yrs from there --> C. and then I stop and step back. One thing I have witnessed but not learnt from is that the only plan that always holds is that one that is mostly open. Structure is important but the winds of change blow strange and rarely negotiate. So what's my next plan? I plan to have some of that candy in my fridge and get a night's sleep in.

Meanwhile, the clock ticks on....

Race of the Races

The other day someone asked me if I thought people from a particular country were 'Racist'. Interesting question I thought. I do have a theory on racism, especially since I belong to a people who are on the wrong end of the world's prejudice at this stage. Everyone is Racist! It may not be nice to hear but its true. Stereotypes exist at all levels of society across all geographical regions. It's like a brand that you're born into. Analogous to this would be something like Marlboro chocolates. Irrespective of quality, they're going be associated with cigarettes and parents are going to keep children away from them. Some people are crass and lack social grace and thus tend to exhibit their racism in a more vocal, public and sometimes violent way. I personally have been called a "Paki" a few times in the Western 'Developed (clearly not mentally in some cases)' world. At first I would find it offensive but then found it amusing and interesting that a country hellbent on destroying mine now finds the reference to it's citizens as a global derogatory word. Fun! So if now people call me Paki, I smile, because they know no better, and Pakis well - I guess every country has its collective karma.

I took up a boxing class at University in the States and was paired with this guy from Buffalo, NY - Nice guy, we had a good chat while punching the daylights out of each others boxing mitts. After class he introduces me to his friend, a stereotypical redneck (See, I'm racist too) hillbilly. Mr. redneck asks me where I'm from? "Delhi, India". "Man, is that in Africa?". "Do you guys like, carry guns around with turbans on?" - This coming from a citizen of a country where carrying guns seems to be the National Pastime. I don't blame him - his worldly knowledge seemed to end at the score from the Yankees - Philly game the previous night. What made him tolerable was the fact that he was visiting and didn't study at my Univ. He's not racist, he's not dumb, he's ignorant - no education can fix that other than the one delivered back home.

On the airport at Amsterdam, I've just boarded my plane to New York. I take my seat by the window and pick up the magazine and start reading it. This girl sitting next to me is part of a party of 4 and is looking at me quite suspiciously. Then she gathers up her courage and asks me "Do you speak English?" - "No, Einstein! I'm admiring the paper quality of this magazine". Turns out she wanted her sister to exchange seats with me. Chivalry and manners fortunately have no race so I gladly offered. Racist? Nah.. Ignorant!

Back home, Indian students get beaten up in Australia and the country is up in arms. Taxi walas are beaten up in Mumbai because they're from out of the state and that is acceptable. Is our media patriotic? Are we as a country united in the face of adversity? Ha.. No! We are 1.2 billion hypo critic monkeys.  In my work life, I have met some grossly incompetent expatriates who are given preference over locals. One of my Managers once explained to me, "They like to see a white face, hear the accent" --- That's what TV is for!! This is work, money. Tell the stockholders that we're hired a monkey because of race and see what happens. What a racist guy! Well, no he's not - his opinions are based on what he sees and since he cares to accept them like a brainless mule, he deems himself ignorant!

So, ladies and gentlemen, are you racist? Or ... Are you ignorant??

To be Indian

One of the oldest civilizations in the world has ironically turned out to be one of the most complex places on the planet to live and do business in. Why is it that after all these years we are not at peace with one another? Are we destined to be a race of oppressed people? Today, as the economy booms and population goes out of control, wealth is being generated at a rapid pace. However, the administration (in this case a governing system deeply infested with corruption) is unable to keep up with the progress the people make. So what does this mean for the average Joe like me? One word - Struggle.

There are no free lunches in life but India takes this to a different level. There are so many of us that everything is a rat race - even if you win it, you're still a rat. The average man on the Indian streets strives to work in the big cities. When he makes it he realizes that he can't afford the basics of life - housing is expensive, public transport is stressful, oil prices (though subsidized) are unreasonable and what makes things worse is the complete incompetence of administrative authorities. The great 'metropolis' (more like mega slum) of Mumbai comes to her knees every monsoon. Delhi is synonymous with crime and Calcutta with prostitution. India's silicon valley is sinking under it's own pressure and the most educated state is bound by communist shackles. Bihar is two generations behind the rest of the country in progress and 20 behind in terms of law enforcement. Biharis who migrate to Mumbai are kicked out because the locals are threatened by their laborious and hassle free attitude.

If all this wasn't bad enough comes the big T word. Our friendly neighbors breed a mindset of hate and violence and happily send their products to our shores and mountains ever so often. 10 men walk into the financial heart of the city and cause mayhem and its a big deal. A soldier dies every two hours at our borders and that's not "juicy" enough for the media to report. Why? Is his life less valuable than the business tycoon who chose the wrong hotel to spend time with his mistress in?

This is the tip of the iceberg, a sneak peak at Pandora's box. What lies beneath is a country ridden with poverty, corruption, overpopulation, illiteracy and crime. Where human life is so abundant it is no longer valued. Where cricketers and politicians are God and the rest must fight to live.

This country is also giving birth to the new Indian. The Indian who dares to ask, who dares to stand for his morals, who refuses to be a silent spectator of the system, the Indian who rises above sectarian and religious difference and takes an oath to make a change - no matter how small. That Indian is the face you see in the mirror...

Expression

In an era where technology has practically intruded every aspect of our life, I wonder if I belong to a generation that is obsessed with the urge to communicate to a bunch of people who want to be left alone. Does anyone really want to know what kind of coffee I'm drinking or what I'm working on? Is 'networking' the new 'intruding'? Is this phenomenon a result of smart business sense and increasingly lonely individuals? The world shrinks at a rapid pace - as do the resources we have. It's easier to contact another human being than ever before and yet the urge to do so seems to have all but vanished.

In a superficial world, one feels the need to recognize relationships that matter and protect them. After all is said and done, all a man is left with is that what matters to him.